A Silenced Cry of True Love
There is a fire that has been lit. A holy, liquid fire that has been awakened.
...But not without a severe price.
What do you do when true love has been abruptly aborted, without notice? How does the heart process such instant loss? A freight train running silently through the night. The heart laid softly upon the tracks, unwitting to its owner. One moment it beats. The next, it doesn't.
Many of us have been rejected, abandoned, but some of us may have experienced this on a magnitude and in a way that was so surprising, that we had to wade through several cycles of shock and layers of confusion and suffering before we could even get to the pure emotional grieving of loss of love.
But God is in the emergency room. And the operating table is our altar.
To have sprinted marathon after marathon, chasing breath that cannot be caught, fist-fighting enemy spirits on a level that has never been experienced before, and not being able to get simple rest and processing of hurt and sadness...how is a person capable of weeks of living like this until the intensity and battle finally subsides with God's breakthrough beyond will and strength?
Then finally, there is a place where the heart is simply broken, rejected, unwanted, abandoned. Finally, the heart can actually hurt and grieve in its place of loss.
This really hurts. So badly.
In this place, the circumstance mocks that you were not valued, that your companionship wasn't cherished enough to hold onto and protect in the tough times. That your heart and feelings mean nothing. That the pouring out of your heart and the pouring into their life was dirt to them, thrown out and trampled underfoot.
Were you bewitched? Were you this naive? This ignorant, blind? Was this sabotage? Or some extensive trick? How in the world was this so far off the radar?!
That which you miss so badly, and that which they did, and the way they did it...only the Master Physician can heal these wounds. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that self, man or things can do to console or even forebear.
What do you do? What can you do?
Except lie prostrate in the sanctuary of God, the Secret Place of the Most High, even if for days, weeks, until comfort, healing, reconciliation, understanding comes?
All things placed in His hands become instruments of righteousness in our lives, no matter the initial source, or how painful its cut. Some seasons of grieving and process, warfare and nightmare, are so extensive, it feels like it will never end. But somehow, some way, it does actual pass, and you find yourself transitioning into a place of peace and rest and grace, and into a new season.
In those moments, you see that there have been angel armies dispatched to accompany you, and your feathers have been growing back as you have waited upon the Lord. Strength of spirit and durability of soul and peace of mind return and flex in a more deeply cemented place than ever before.
The layers of spiritual antagonism that had been confusing the mind amidst the brokenness and grieving of the soul must break like an overcast giving way to a rainbowed sunshine. Though not without a 24/7 fist-fight that lasted weeks.
New mercies...more than conqueror...yoke destroyed by the anointing...come to Me all who are heavy laden...His grace is sufficient...He is our Righteousness...overcoming by the Blood and word of our testimony....
If this is the place of humble, clear peace and freedom with Abba, I'll take it. Above the securities and stabilities of the world, my peers, my aspirations...God and a Bible are still more than enough for me. I'll take the foolishness of God over the wisdom of the world any day. [1Co1:22+]
I have to remember the skin I've been given and be comfortable in it. I know who I am and how I am. It just took some time to get back above sea level. But no matter how the enemy tried to take down and drown me from my flight, God used his submersion as a baptism. Of repentance, Spirit and fire.
And the God of peace shall soon crush Satan under your feet.
Romans 16:20
This eagle will fly again.
...But not without a severe price.
What do you do when true love has been abruptly aborted, without notice? How does the heart process such instant loss? A freight train running silently through the night. The heart laid softly upon the tracks, unwitting to its owner. One moment it beats. The next, it doesn't.
Many of us have been rejected, abandoned, but some of us may have experienced this on a magnitude and in a way that was so surprising, that we had to wade through several cycles of shock and layers of confusion and suffering before we could even get to the pure emotional grieving of loss of love.
But God is in the emergency room. And the operating table is our altar.
To have sprinted marathon after marathon, chasing breath that cannot be caught, fist-fighting enemy spirits on a level that has never been experienced before, and not being able to get simple rest and processing of hurt and sadness...how is a person capable of weeks of living like this until the intensity and battle finally subsides with God's breakthrough beyond will and strength?
Then finally, there is a place where the heart is simply broken, rejected, unwanted, abandoned. Finally, the heart can actually hurt and grieve in its place of loss.
This really hurts. So badly.
In this place, the circumstance mocks that you were not valued, that your companionship wasn't cherished enough to hold onto and protect in the tough times. That your heart and feelings mean nothing. That the pouring out of your heart and the pouring into their life was dirt to them, thrown out and trampled underfoot.
Were you bewitched? Were you this naive? This ignorant, blind? Was this sabotage? Or some extensive trick? How in the world was this so far off the radar?!
That which you miss so badly, and that which they did, and the way they did it...only the Master Physician can heal these wounds. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that self, man or things can do to console or even forebear.
What do you do? What can you do?
Except lie prostrate in the sanctuary of God, the Secret Place of the Most High, even if for days, weeks, until comfort, healing, reconciliation, understanding comes?
All things placed in His hands become instruments of righteousness in our lives, no matter the initial source, or how painful its cut. Some seasons of grieving and process, warfare and nightmare, are so extensive, it feels like it will never end. But somehow, some way, it does actual pass, and you find yourself transitioning into a place of peace and rest and grace, and into a new season.
In those moments, you see that there have been angel armies dispatched to accompany you, and your feathers have been growing back as you have waited upon the Lord. Strength of spirit and durability of soul and peace of mind return and flex in a more deeply cemented place than ever before.
The layers of spiritual antagonism that had been confusing the mind amidst the brokenness and grieving of the soul must break like an overcast giving way to a rainbowed sunshine. Though not without a 24/7 fist-fight that lasted weeks.
New mercies...more than conqueror...yoke destroyed by the anointing...come to Me all who are heavy laden...His grace is sufficient...He is our Righteousness...overcoming by the Blood and word of our testimony....
If this is the place of humble, clear peace and freedom with Abba, I'll take it. Above the securities and stabilities of the world, my peers, my aspirations...God and a Bible are still more than enough for me. I'll take the foolishness of God over the wisdom of the world any day. [1Co1:22+]
I have to remember the skin I've been given and be comfortable in it. I know who I am and how I am. It just took some time to get back above sea level. But no matter how the enemy tried to take down and drown me from my flight, God used his submersion as a baptism. Of repentance, Spirit and fire.
And the God of peace shall soon crush Satan under your feet.
Romans 16:20
This eagle will fly again.
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