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Showing posts from November, 2018

The Art of Being Wrong

There comes a time when we must learn to be wrong. Actually, this opportunity comes quite so many times in our lives. I'm not referring to admitting when we are wrong. This is a separate discussion, and a separate art that many of us also struggle with. [By the way, please, reader, work on this area of your heart too. Just admit when you are wrong to yourself and to God and those you have affected, and then say the second most powerful three words in the universe: I Am Sorry.] But, learning to be wrong is something completely different. This situation occurs when you might actually be right, or when no one in the situation may be wrong, but just different. It takes a unique level of surrender of pride to see this. And to allow oneself the be selfless enough with the things we hold onto so much...the habits, reactions, emotions, expectations...oh, dear reader, this will not be easy by any means. In fact, it will take a touch from the Heavenly Father Himself, I'm sure of it. It d

Blindsided, and Blind to Those at Our Side

Have you ever experienced the following?… You’ve been serving with inspired passion and urgency from God. You’ve been cooperating with His Spirit and keeping yourself in the place where He is operating far more than you. And in any given moment, you find yourself in various states of intercession, on behalf of those you have allowed God to break your heart for, and on people and systems that need refined or overhauled to do much better to help. And in one of those moments, where you are waiting on movement from partnered support, and you hear of one more story of the suffering of a dear one, it puts you over the edge, feeling like you can’t even stay in your frame, like hours of intercession wouldn’t be enough to release this from your spirit. And then, something exceedingly unexpected happens… You get blindsided. You thought you were alert as you have handled so many things previously, and so well. But the source and nature of this collision was most unexpected. And worse yet, the fue

A Persistent Pursuit

A man has the ability to change anything at any point of his life. It’s never a question of capability, only a matter of willingness. We find our greatest fulfillment and purpose in the selflessness of our surrender to God. I want to be that man… If you want to be Christ’s, let yourself not just seek to learn more…give myself to His manner and way. Giving yourself to God is not about ‘giving Him all your hopes and dreams’ as much as it is giving Him your daily ways and attitudes. God is far more interested in how you treat people in your family, in the store, on the road, and in the workplace than if you are willing to drop all responsibilities and go on a mission trip. To truly want more of God is to want Him to have more of you. If you want to give yourself to Christ, you must not be selective in choosing just a few obvious or seemingly relevant things. Everything is relevant, and everything can be His. Why hold onto a behavior or attitude you know isn’t pleasing or good when you can

The Price is Life

There is definitely something to be said for knowing in the integrity of your heart that you are doing right by what’s in your control and therefore are able to rest easy at night and not feel like a loser. It’s not that hard in and of itself to do what’s right. What makes it hard, as with anything, is emotional attachment to other things or modes or mentalities. And the strength of that emotional tie is based on the value we place on those things. The good news is when we change the price tags, we can experience an eventual emotional realignment to reinforce healthier ways. We have to correct the pricing, the value we place on different things, because where our treasure is, there our heart is. Our heart is closest to the things we treasure or value the most. So it will show when our heart really isn’t with our wife, our kids. You can tell when someone has an imbalance of value on their priorities by the attention and interest they give it compared to everything else in their life. Ho

Dreams and Realities

Dream really do come true. Amazing how God has re-inspired me with this phrase so many times, and in so many unique ways over the last several years. Now, I have had to learn the hard way how to properly approach dreams and visions and prophecies (genuine ones, not the fake stuff), and what it really means to rightly divide and discern what is God-driven, as well as understanding symbolism with respect to how things actually play out. Without getting into the whys and hows of genuineness and fallacy in this, suffice it to say it can be quite a long-bending learning curve, at least until reaching a point where it just clicks and you seem to just get it. But to speak to some of this in another vein, I had a recent conversation about dreams with someone. Here are some thoughts based on what came up… Remember one thing about dreams…inasmuch as they are yours, they are not yours. God is our dream. Those other dreams are His. The more we say and think ‘my dreams’, the more we get into propen

Surrender, Not Perfection

A recent message for the cross-cultural missions group I am with, in light of some of our discussions… There is a little something that has lingered on my heart from a couple meetings ago to share. When we were talking about delving into a season or life of mission, I had made references about being prepared for this type of service, likening it to being a fit or prepared wineskin, so-to-speak, as the Bible refers to. I think it is possible that it could have been a little misunderstood, so allow me to clarify. The main point I had in mind by “being prepared” was coming to a place of internal surrender or availability to hear enough to field the possibility of serving or responding to the call to missions, or to at least pay attention to the drawing of the Holy Spirit towards it. What I did not mean was that we would be without resistance in some way, or that there would be no obstacles within. I did not intend to infer some level of fearlessness, holiness, or otherwise perfect path to

The First Time I Ever Did Lose

You’re at the park, with the kids, playing soccer. It’s the two of them against you taking turns with the ball close to the goal. They are mud-footed at best with their speed and command of the ball. They’re laughing and smiling and running and kicking and trying. One of them tries to be fancy with their footwork as you approach to defend… I have always been so competitive. I have had to win at everything, no matter what it was, sports or not. Ask my sisters or brother. Ask my friends. Anyone close enough to me knows how I have been. If I initially lost at something, I figured out some way to disqualify the other person’s win, or to explain away something that proved I actually won. Or, if all else failed, it had to turn into a best of three series. It even started when I was a baby. I did not even want to talk or walk or write at first, because I was not quite good or fluent enough the way adults were around me. I did not like to misspeak. I did not like to stumble. I did not like to

Superman Complex: Cohabitation of Perfectionism and Codependency

This is a little journalistic blog to self, perhaps tire tracks in the path behind me that might be encouraging or assistful to one or two who may happen upon this some day. Sometimes the most impacting realizations are the simplest, most basic of truths…even those that could be considered insulting to intelligence in most other contexts. So, don’t laugh. I knew most of these things throughout my life, okay? However, I learned them more recent times. I am not superman. Despite my desire to be, and my attempts, often feeble, and too many backfires to admit to…I am just not perfect, I am not everything and everyone I wish I could be, for myself, for my loved ones, for everyone else. I am a recovering perfectionist. Granted, my relapses bring me to interesting places of servitude and expenditure that go beyond the calculable. But when not kept balanced healthily with faith, the dissatisfaction with the deficit of others’ lives can lead to an unrest that becomes counterproductive. So I mus

The Patience of David

There is a place of peace, grace and rest in God that few believe is possible, and fewer truly find. We are not referring to good feelings in good times that may lead to a grateful, comforted heart and mind. The existence of the true peace of God is independent of circumstance. In fact, God's true peace is not a feeling, not a condition, not a situation, but rather a Spirit. It is the presence of this Holy Spirit that gives unusual security and rest in the most troubled of times... But we must find that place, that pocket of peace. King David seemed to have an uncanny understanding of how to access this place, and even walk in it. From the outside, we might ask, how did he so serve and honor an unruly king who sought to kill him? How did he stay so humble after amazing victories in the power of the Spirit of God and with his amazing skills and abilities? How was he able to maintain perspective and even encourage himself in the Lord alone when everyone he knew and trusted and respec

To Possess or Be Possessed

[After a brief, inspiring dialogue with a ministry partner…] Many of us have felt prompted to do something benevolent, from a simple act to a life-changing decision, at some point in our lives. Sometimes we’ve taken the opportunity to move, and other times we haven’t. (I can’t stand the feeling of missing something I should have done!) But how about getting involved with something that you have a genuine conviction or passion for, something that takes time and effort on a periodic or regular basis…have you experienced decrease in energy, motivation, perhaps even to the point of burnout? When you took up that opportunity, that task, that effort, did you take it with your own hands and try to hold onto it as long as you could, or did you allow yourself to sit aside quietly, personally with it, and let it soak in until it began to take hold of you? From apprehension to apprehended… When I talk to people in and outside the efforts that I’m involved with, they often tell me how overwhelming

The Gown of Grace

You know how we as parents love our children and don’t want them to get hurt? And if they do, we want to fix them and hold them so close right away? Even if they did it to themselves accidentally or on purpose? That’s the way our awesome Father in Heaven, our Daddy, is. When we get hurt, His heart breaks, and He runs to us and wants to heal us. Even if we do it to ourselves. And sin is self-injury to our soul. We are so passionate about safety and rules with our children because we passionately love them, not just because we are angry, critical, mean controllers. Same with Him. That’s what He means when He says He’s jealous over us, when He says His love is as strong as death, or when He says to kiss the Son lest He be angry. (Shallow middle and modern English translations.) I need to hear this for myself. It is so easy for me to feel like a failure at times still, whether not living up to a particular external or internal standard, or flat-out falling on my face in life. We are not al