Connecting Humanly

A vulnerable representation of the heart...

How candid and purely real are we willing to be with ourselves? At a certain point, shouldn't we just stop facade-ing with our stained-glass mirrors?

What if we found that place to be very plain with self and God? Being willing to be wrong, to confess self-servedness, to admit our need of meaningful relationship with people and God.

To understand our desperate need of the Cross, and a Friend, all at the same time.

Why do I write? Many of us may use it as a pressure relief valve of so much within that needs an outlet. Some of that may be passion, brokenness, loneliness, excitement, exploration, verbal processing, spiritual intimacy...or simply quaint pleasure and musing.

One thing I do know, which I've observed in people near to my season of life: I just want someone to talk to. And, some one to talk to.

It is of the deepest regions of the heart that this is penned.

And so often do I/we/you/we/I feel misunderstood, miscategorized, set aside, filed and misfiled, and/or otherwise passively discarded. Without given a chance. Or failing the performance perfection screening.

We generally have a core need to be wanted and a want to be needed. Some of us brush up against that personally more than others, depending on our situations, sociality, deficits, and the like. And there is a world of difference between being wanted and being needed.

But Justin, you're only given one chance to make a first impression. I know Bill, but can't we offer people a chance to correct any mistaken impressions?

I understand, it takes intentionality to resist our human nature when it comes to these things. We all do it, whether we realize it or not.

But still.

But no.

We can do differently. We don't have to be the same tomorrow as we were yesterday.

I have in times past filled the gap of what I needed with creating or investing extra in the area of being needed. Which is a temporary fix.

But being needed can't ever take the place of what we need…which is to be wanted, accepted, and not just for what you can do, but who you are. Being liked. Being enjoyed.

What do you think?

Being needed is more transactional, and being wanted is more relational. The more time goes on, the more I find myself valuing relational connection anyway. Being with people more important than doing things with people, per se.

So for my personality type, this can be a little compounding if I don't have those meaningful relationships developing in my life.

And, if anyone could just hear the heart­­­­–your heart, my heart, anyone's heart–when it says, I just want someone to talk to.

Is that how you feel? Beneath the surface of your busyness, your survival mode, your walls (instead of healthy boundaries), your surface-happiness-and-joyful-moments-but-what-about-later-when-no-one-is-around...

...to sit with you. To listen to you. To hug you. To talk with you, not just to you. To have a peaceful meal with you. To be fully present with you (phones sitting somewhere beyond arm's reach).

Do you feel that? I have.

What do I/you/we/you/I do with this. Again.

[I did it again. Why do I keep doing that? I thought this was a moment of pure realness. Just say I, Justin.]

There is that place, the Faithful and True one. Another opportunity of intimacy, humble surrender, and fellowshipping with the sufferings of my Savior. To be with Him. And to be healed, not jaded. But to be comforted, not compartmented.

To be held.

And to trust that what the heart needs is touched by His hand, and that I will be better. And walls will melt, and boundaries will be drawn...right? No Fort-Knoxing the heart.

And so here we rest, until He lifts us up and mounts us on wings of eagles...