Eagles Point

God of the Broken... Finally. A place burrowed enough away from pondering eyes to be completely oneself, in all expression and brokenness. Who knew that this secret place with God today would be an automobile in a remote parking lot, shrouded enough by gray skies and rain to be hidden from anyone potentially nearby. This vehicle...I remember the gift it was from God just a few short years ago...now facilitating a most vulnerable moment with Him. This is the needful place right now. I could not be anywhere else if I tried. The clouds shed their tears on my behalf. They bounce off the windshield, pinging off the hood, softly tapping the metal with a perfect balance between gentle and firm. And in their own way, they make their way through the car, happening upon the soil of the heart. And all I can do is just sit. And be. Already emptied out, poured out, at least for now. If not for exhaustion, I could sit here for hours. With Him. Not just sitting with Him. Broken with Him. The Humble K...

We are not supposed to use paper towels and clothing to wipe our eyeglasses. It creates micro-scratches on the (ironically) scratch-resistant film that coats the lenses. Over time, the film breaks down and becomes cloudy. The lenses have to be replaced at that point. We need to use a clean microfiber cloth, with optional cleaning solution, when there are spots and blurs on our lenses. Wouldn't it be easy to just stop there, instead of peering inside and addressing the eyes of the heart? The wear and tear of life causes our vision to be fatigued and blurred, and in order to still see things accurately and not from the adverse aftereffects of our experiences, we need corrective lenses. Lenses that will help us to see things clearly, accurately, as they actually are. However, we've gotten a little unwittingly clever at doctoring those lenses. Even they can get tainted, distorted, damaged, or perhaps purposely painted with stained portraits of our own choosing. It takes a...

 A woman's testimony, cutting into the conversation... Well she made different relationships with each of my siblings and me. Treated each of us differently from the beginning. We all had different experiences with her. My youngest brother wasn’t made to do anything but what he wanted and with his bad behavior and poor choices he thought he deserved all her punishments and yelling. He can’t possibly imagine why any of us might have a different perspective. He never saw and doesn’t remember how she made me cook, clean, bathe him and our kid sister, work in the house and in the yard. He never had to. It blows my mind. I remember cramping so hard I had diarrhea and she made me mow the lawn on my one day off while my brothers played video games in the air conditioning. She was very different and particularly mean to me. The youngest brother would never know. And Mom knew what she was doing. I can’t imagine treating my child that way. I have taught her how to work hard and the value o...

First of all, I do not like that I am writing. I do not want to have to be writing. I am not a scripteure of choice. Yes, the artist does need the channel of expression, but writing is confining, narrowing to this one...a tedious test of verbal painting with substant diction a picture so vivid and textured, that the reader can run his or her hands across the page and feel it. A tediousness that this artist has become wearied by in the advent of discovering broader avenues of pouring out from deep, overflowing caverns within. Nonetheless, here we are, wherein this composition postures as expedient and therapeutic to current due processing of that which lies within. So, we thusly embrace the point of the journey at which we find ourselves, and soak every bit of intimacy with God He has for us in these moments. And especially when our heart longs to be somewhere else. We cannot healthily live non-present in our present. Whether the external circumstances, or where we are within, if there ...

It has been more than a while since I have written. From the open doors and concluded seasons, to just the plain tediosity of sitting down to write, for me, I have not found myself with the interest to do this very much. However, for some reason, I feel the urge to log a recent dream here with brief introspection. I am grateful for the variety and vividness of my dreams, especially the many and regular action ones. They are like fascinating movies, sometimes with several scenes, that span quite a time when actually laying them out, that I wish I could bring into natural form. Well, here is one of them, not nearly as long but intriguing nonetheless... It was a sunny afternoon outside a very nice building with a lot of pavement and at least a second story of outside balcony and stair access to living quarters, which turned out to be a two-plus story hotel/motel. A lady in a red dress to her knees with a thin black belt and black short-handled bag-sized purse was being harassed by some gu...

When we learn the truth, we have to take time away to process it. And oftentimes, that also means processing out falsehoods. We have to be emotionally responsible people. We have to allow emotions attached to untruths to be carefully detached and properly attached to the truth. No matter how much the untruths hurt, or how it hurts to accept that they are untruths, and no matter how much the truth hurts. This is where true healing, and the next step, restoration, take place. This is an indicator of emotional maturity. And this has to be upon self-initiative, when no one is around. Most of the time, there won't be someone encouraging this or cheering us on in it, because it's not something people talk about. Or even realize or know about. But this keeps us in a healthy state within. It keeps ill-based baggage from collecting. It fosters genuine peace and freedom. We have to take responsibility for the condition and well-being of our soul. Carrying and burying hurts, failures, dis...

There is a fire that has been lit. A holy, liquid fire that has been awakened. ...But not without a severe price. What do you do when true love has been abruptly aborted, without notice? How does the heart process such instant loss? A freight train running silently through the night. The heart laid softly upon the tracks, unwitting to its owner. One moment it beats. The next, it doesn't. Many of us have been rejected, abandoned, but some of us may have experienced this on a magnitude and in a way that was so surprising, that we had to wade through several cycles of shock and layers of confusion and suffering before we could even get to the pure emotional grieving of loss of love. But God is in the emergency room. And the operating table is our altar. To have sprinted marathon after marathon, chasing breath that cannot be caught, fist-fighting enemy spirits on a level that has never been experienced before, and not being able to get simple rest and processing of hurt and s...

In the middle of all you are find yourself in, remember, it does not define who you are. You know who you are, Abba's child. Especially now: you're eyes are open to what you really want and need…Jesus first in all things, and then making choices based on His will and not convenience and other things. Sometimes we can be so stubborn or selfish that God has to allow more drastic things to happen to finally soften our hearts. It’s too bad we are like this, but it’s part of our human nature that we All have. And I pray that you see this clearly one day: if it were me or someone else in your shoes, if we were in your exact experience leading up to everything, so so many of us would’ve been so much worse than you were. None of us are as strong as we think we are. (I’ll never forget the encounter and vision with Abba when He showed me this about myself.) But His allowance of our failure and tough times is proof of His mercy because the most important, valuable thing in the universe th...

Very candidly, I cannot stand false friendships. Why is it that people act and treat and talk to you so kindly one minute, or even for a little while, and then begin to act like they don't even know you? If I ask myself why this seems to happen to me a lot, I think of at least three things. Firstly, is it something I'm doing? Next, do others experience this a lot as well? And finally, is it something I'm doing? To begin with, I want to ensure there isn't something I'm totally unaware of about myself. But I have enough good people around me and in my life that don't do this and that observe me closely enough, I would think at least. The one thing I'm not sure of is if many others experience this too. If they do, then we really do have a social issue when it comes to how we socialize and connect. That would make me wonder about the effects and influences of how we connect and socialize in a social media age, and other effects of our society's norms in ...

To those who have experienced hurt that hasn’t been addressed or mended well… You are not messed up. Get that vocabulary out of your head now, my daughter, my son. What you are feeling is simply a result of the fact that it hasn’t been properly faced and healthily grieved and processed. There were psychological and emotional defense mechanisms in place at the beginning, and when not properly worked through, those mechanisms became fixtures that maintain harbored, compartmentalized feelings that seeped out in other ways over time. So this is very, very normal, because most people don’t have the people or things around them to help them healthily and thoroughly work through these things. But you are in a different place now, and you have a rekindled pursuit and fellowship with God and perhaps in a place of surrender more than ever before. And you have a courage to begin to really face this, one step at a time, and it is okay, and it is going to be okay and wonderful. And you are beau...

As per my usual, posts here come either out of the overflow of what resides within, or from recent discussions that are persistent themes enough for me to warrant putting them out in general format for encouragement or mediation. So, here are some thoughts that were discussed over the past while on topics that mean a lot to me. Here it begins, mid-conversation, paraphrased, participants well-shielded…and since I’m mostly doing this as a public note to self, I am not paying as much attention to flow and style… Here is a clip upon discussing about a man saying that all men would cheat or flirt or do other things if they had the chance, or if they could get by with it, or if the woman persisted: So, while it seems there are so few out there (available, that is [singles]), there still are men and women, and more than we know, that are willing to be faithful and would have it no other way, even if their partner wasn’t as overbearing as with a short leash or something. Any man who says...

I want a paraphrase of a recent comment I made archived on this blog, so you can skip reading this, because that’s all this is. [Incidentally, for those who may come across this that aren’t well versed in this, it primarily addresses Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).] I understand the multiple facets (I hesitantly aka them as identities, as this treads against the theme of this thought) of the system. But it is in fact still one system. There is a collective whole. We are in fact still one person, one being, despite the experience of switches. And each aspect of the system is a very important, vital part, all of which makes up some component of who we really are, despite their potential runoff in extremes. So my question is, what if we were now at the point [in therapy, recovery, or healing process] where someone was looking at us more holistically? More cohesively? Could that be part of the therapy, to treat us more as one being, one person, with cohesion, to see...

During seasons of drastic transition when walking through separation from an abusive or controlling relationship, staying grounded in deep connectivity to God is all the more vital. It’s like holding on to the anchor of the ship that won’t sink, but may be tossed strongly by the waves of the storm all about. You will have to go out to the deck sometimes, but you stay holding onto the rope of the anchor the whole time. Despite the far superior posts, blogs and entire Facebook pages dedicated to this very topic, I thought I’d at least add some additional encouragement as notation on this blog site. The first thing I want to do is simply come alongside you and let you know it’s going to be okay. I definitely know there’s a lot going on under the hood emotionally. Just do your best to keep out of the crossfire. Don’t get into wars of words. That makes everything so much worse and counterproductive, and then you have to mop up that along with dealing with enhanced negative emotions that...

For those who find themselves in a position to be there for someone in need of encouragement, uplifting, or deep healing or rescue, there are many things the untrained, unlicensed person can do to be an effective support to the person. But there are one or two guiding principles beneath it all from which to build and work from that are vital in every case. The foundation of creating a safe place and genuine fellowship with someone where they will find the comfort to open up is consistent unconditional love and trust-building, being there for and with them without pushing. Remember, it’s all about empowering them to make choices while you focus on providing the most loving, welcoming, safe environment in your friendship with them. And they will gravitate to that by God’s grace, to places of openness and surrender. Be ever so patient with them, and, against all within, allow them to take the step they want to take without snatching them yourself. Remember, the slower the step, the mo...

After an unusual amount of conversation with single parents this week from in-person to across the world, stirring the already-present tender area of my heart for this, I have heard parts of stories that I believe don’t get addressed or spoken of enough. So I give this to you, and to all those I know, and don’t know, who are single parents. I want to speak to the things you have shared with me… First of all, I am so sorry to all of you who have experienced such heartache, hurt, abandonment, loss, abuse, neglect, both personally as well as in the upbringing of your children. I can relate to part but not all of your story. Nonetheless, my heart aches for you. And especially you ladies, it is a horrible reality that so many guys are lazy, either before or after the ring, and so many don’t understand what a real man, a real gentle-man, a servant-leader is. And the ones that may, they don’t have inclination to walk as such. I wish not to excuse any responsibility on your part in this. B...

If there ever was a time to take a moment to encourage, reconnect or extend courtesy and graces to someone, the time, or season, is now. And some may internally nod in understood agreement because of Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I want to bring an extra layer of awareness that there are those who are suffering and hurting this holiday season. Many are lonely or broken after having suffered loss or rejection. Several don’t really know how to step out from their experience and really live again. Some have tried to move forward but they are paralyzed by present circumstances that bring emotional flashbacks of the past. Someone fitting this category may even be reading, or writing, this post right now. The season we find ourselves in, Christmas, is one that is supposed to bring an extra measure of joy and cheer. But the truth is Christmas is in the heart of the beholder, so if there are not enough beholders around, the spirit of Christmas is quite absent, and we are left with a ho...