The Rejection Factor

We are not supposed to use paper towels and clothing to wipe our eyeglasses. It creates micro-scratches on the (ironically) scratch-resistant film that coats the lenses. Over time, the film breaks down and becomes cloudy. The lenses have to be replaced at that point.

We need to use a clean microfiber cloth, with optional cleaning solution, when there are spots and blurs on our lenses.

Wouldn't it be easy to just stop there, instead of peering inside and addressing the eyes of the heart?

The wear and tear of life causes our vision to be fatigued and blurred, and in order to still see things accurately and not from the adverse aftereffects of our experiences, we need corrective lenses. Lenses that will help us to see things clearly, accurately, as they actually are.

However, we've gotten a little unwittingly clever at doctoring those lenses. Even they can get tainted, distorted, damaged, or perhaps purposely painted with stained portraits of our own choosing.

It takes awareness and willingness to stop and assess what we are looking through from a humble, honest vantage point. Awareness, willingness, humbleness, honesty…and trust. All required. Because some of what we may discover will be difficult if not impossible without either or any of these.

Trust would come to play in that place of surrender, allowing vulnerability to the One who created and formed the spirit and soul. Complete safety in His glorious, grace-filled, healing presence.

All of the aforementioned being universal in application, the intent of this particular moment is to talk about rejection. As with any impacting hurt or trauma, being rejected, especially in a very hurtful or harmful way, has lasting impact that does not just go away without intentional healing steps with the Healer in some concerted way, alone and likely with someone who knows how to help facilitate and foster such with Him.

And then, there is another stage or level of healing, which comes forth in the context of healthy, trusting relationship. As much as some avoid the first, this one can be even more tricky in its own way. Because this involves engaging someone who is imperfect, for one. Moreover, this is the arena where triggers can manifest wildly.

This is the area where, once the Healer, the Counselor, the Lover of our soul, has mended and given corrective lensing, we may take those very lenses and stain them with our memories (or possibly successive unhealthy connections and interactions with people).

We begin to see our world through these experiences. Every person, interaction, situation, response, communication. We are almost expecting something at a certain point. Sometimes a feeling of dread arises, and it's hard to shake unless/until we do something to redirect the situation or recreate some form of solidarity to hang our hat on.

As long as everything is in our control and we are performing at the right level, we are okay.

So to be vulnerable to someone, oh that seems a bit out of the question.

We see certain people, situations, even expressions, misinterpreted or assumed innuendos, or reactions through the heart's lens of rejection. Dissatisfaction, not good enough, unwanted, subpar, inadequate, failure.

No matter how much we miss that fellowship, that trust, that connection, that comradery. Whether a special companionship, a business partnership, a collaborate team, a ministry connection, a sibling relationship…

My friend, my brother, my sister, this is so sad. To lose the will, the hope, the availability to experience this with someone and the right people.

We teeter on the edge of being more transactional than relational in our connection with individuals and community. And that's not how we're wired. That's not how we're called. That's not what we're made for.

What can we do to allow ourselves to come out from the things we hide behind–work, children, ministry, hobbies, diversion, busyness, things we're successful at or responsible for–to open our lives once again to the possibility of more.

What are your thoughts? What are your experiences that have brought you to where you are? Where are you in the landscape of this territory? Where do you truly want to be? Do you see the One reaching out His hand, willing to walk you through it one step at a time?

You're not alone. So why are you alone? So maybe don't be alone.